Cake or Death
by BonneNuit
Summary: Set after the ‘rescue Rukia’ arc. The consequences of Ichigo launching an attack on Soul Society are far greater than he expected. He is forced to stay in Seireitei and become Ukitake’s lieutenant. YAOI one shot, UkitakexIchigo


**Pairing: Ukitake x Ichigo**

**This is a one shot written in exchange for one written for me… This one is for Cat Streaked By Rain, I'm also writing another one for Katrina Tora that will be out soon =D**

**Summary: Set after the 'rescue Rukia' arc. The consequences of Ichigo launching an attack on Soul Society are far greater than he expected, even with Aizen's betrayal. He is forced to stay in Seireitei and he becomes Ukitake's lieutenant. **

**If anyone has heard of Eddie Izzard, then you know where I got the title XD If not… look it up on YouTube. **

**Contains: Yaoi, sex, smut, fingering, underage drinking, violence, cursing, Ichigo being adorable (say what!?)**

**Beta'd by the very cool Warrior Nun =3 Thank you!**

Cake or Death

"You have a choice, Kurosaki," the general said in his gruff voice as he gazed down at the 'ryoka.' "You can either stay in Soul Society and be granted a seat as lieutenant under Captain Ukitake, or you and your friends will be executed here."

Ichigo glared up at the old man; the self righteous prick that condemned them for trying to fix _their _mistakes. Even now they were trying to divert the blame elsewhere. But it wasn't like Ichigo had a choice.

"Fine," Ichigo said through gritted teeth and Yamamoto looked pleased he gestured at his own lieutenant who rushed over and unlocked the sekkisekki stone collar that was suppressing his reiatsu.

Ichigo stood up and rubbed his neck while trying not to scowl at his new head…. boss.

Captain Ukitake and Shunsui smiled reassuringly at him, but Ichigo wasn't in the mood to play nice.

"The other ryoka will be sent back to the human world with their memories wiped," General Yamamoto continued. Ichigo was biting his lip now to stop himself from screaming at the man and trying to shake some sense into him. Captain Ukitake tugged at the sleeve of his kosode and it was clear that he had been dismissed.

Captain Ukitake threw a friendly arm around his shoulder and Ichigo tried to shrug it off, but Ukitake only held onto him tighter. He guided Ichigo out the door with Shunsui following behind him. Only then did he allow Ichigo to break free from his grasp. Ichigo scowled at him and batted away the concerned hand that reached for his now bloody lip.

"Old man Yama is just doing what he feels best," Shunsui said and clapped him on the back hard enough to send Ichigo stumbling forward a little. "With three captains gone, he wants to replenish our ranks."

"So instead of asking, he threatens to kill me?" Ichigo asked grumpily and walked with them to his new 'quarters.' He wondered if his friends would still remember him, or if he would be taken out of the picture along with the memories of Soul Society.

Neither of the captains seemed to have a response for that. Instead they just sighed and showed him his new rooms which had apparently been empty since the last lieutenant died.

"My third seats have been handling your new position for awhile now, so we will be able to ease you into it without too much difficulty," Ukitake said and smiled at him. Ichigo very reluctantly admitted that he felt more relaxed when he did that. Ukitake had a calming aura about him that made Ichigo feel almost at home. His brown eyes lit up when he smiled, and even made his pale face and white hair seem brighter.

Despite his new captain's friendly nature, Ichigo had a hard time fitting in and getting used to Seireitei. Like with anywhere, there were lots of shinigami who tried to bully him, but Ichigo was strong enough that he kicked their asses easily (which made him end up in even more trouble).

There was also Kenpachi Zaraki, the eleventh division captain that Ichigo had ended up in a draw with. The blood-lusting man had taken to following him around and demanding fights. When he refused, Kenpachi had suggested other ways they could spend their time that made Ichigo turn red and Captain Ukitake step in before he did anything… untoward.

"Come on, Ichigo-san," Ukitake said as he led Ichigo away from Kenpachi who seemed to be intent on staring at Ichigo's ass. "Don't mind Captain Kenpachi, he's just… interested in you." Ukitake laughed and rubbed the back of his neck as he said it.

"I'm not interested in him," Ichigo said sourly and tried to pull away from Ukitake's grasp, but the white haired man just smiled at him.

"Do you have someone you are interested in? It might help you settle in more here," Ukitake asked and beamed at him, making Ichigo's stomach flip-flop.

"…Maybe."

"Oh?" Ukitake raised a black eyebrow and studied the young man next to him, then leaned in very close. "Who would that be?"

"No one!" Ichigo said with a blush and turned away, but Ukitake leaned in even closer.

"I won't stop until I know!" Ukitake dragged Ichigo to his own personal tea room and poured him some sake, thrusting into his hand with a gleam in his eye.

"I'm not old enough to drink," Ichigo grumbled, but Ukitake gave him that look that sent shivers down Ichigo's spine. He hastily gulped the sake to cover it up. He instantly felt a little dizzy and his face felt hot and flushed. "Ugh…"

"More, more!" Ukitake said with a laugh and poured him more. "Drink up!"

"Captain Ukitake…" Ichigo said with a frown and he was cut off.

"Call me Jyuushiro," Ukitake insisted and hooked an arm over his shoulder to pull him close. "After all, we're going to be together for a long time."

"You mean as captain and lieutenant?" Ichigo asked, feeling light headed but not completely disoriented as he leaned against Uki- Jyuushiro and nuzzled against his chest.

"Hm, I wonder?" Jyuushiro said and ran his fingers through Ichigo's hair while peering down at his lidded eyes. Ichigo blinked up at him and Jyuushiro smiled. "Meh~ Ichigo, tell me who you like…"

He pulled Ichigo into his lap so Ichigo was straddling him and Ichigo simply looked at him in confusion. "I like you…" Ichigo mumbled and then leaned against Jyuushiro's chest to nuzzle the bare skin he found there. "Your hair is pretty."

Jyuushiro chuckled and ran his hands up and down Ichigo's back while softly kissing his neck. "I like you, too, Ichigo," he said and began to slowly undo the belt of Ichigo's kosode. Ichigo didn't really seem to mind much, if the way he was squirming in pleasure was any indication. He slid the kosode off of Ichigo's shoulders and tilted his lieutenant's chin up to kiss his lips.

"Is this alright?" Jyuushiro asked in concern as he rubbed his thumbs over Ichigo's hips. "Please tell me now or I fear I will lose control."

"'s fine…" Ichigo said and wrapped his arms behind Jyuushiro's head. "Mm, that feels good…" He mumbled when his captain palmed his erection through his hakama. "Want more."

"I believe I can help with that." Jyuushiro untied Ichigo's hakama and bared his hard cock, lightly dragging his fingers over the length of it. Ichigo groaned and fumbled for Jyuushiro's hakama as well, making Jyuushiro pause. "Ah, wait!" He hissed as Ichigo wrapped his hand around his engorged member. He tightened his grip on Ichigo's own and Ichigo squirmed in response.

"Jyuushiro, I want you to do something else," Ichigo practically whined in his slightly intoxicated state. "Put it inside of me."

"I can't, I haven't done this yet," Jyuushiro slid his hand down the back of Ichigo's hakama and rubbed against his entrance. Ichigo inhaled sharply and clutched at his haori as the fingers slipped inside of him. "Hurts?"

Ichigo shook his head, but it was clear that he was lying.

"It will feel better soon," Jyuushiro said and spread his fingers apart and tried to make Ichigo relax by stroking his cock.

"Don't stop!" Ichigo moaned and arched his back when Jyuushiro brushed against something inside of him. "Ahh!!! I want it now!!!"

"As you wish…" Jyuushiro pulled his fingers out and maneuvered Ichigo around so he could pull off his hakama completely. He slicked his erection with his saliva so he wouldn't hurt his lieutenant too badly and position Ichigo over his lap. "Breath, Ichigo," Jyuushiro whispered and kissed Ichigo on his lips as he guided him down. Ichigo cried out and dug his nails into Jyuushiro's shoulders as he was filled.

"Unnn…'Shiro!" He called out and bit his lip. "Hurts…"

"Sh," Jyuushiro shushed him and lapped at the bitten lip, "just relax."

"Gh," Ichigo grimaced and slumped against Jyuushiro's chest, panting as Jyuushiro pushed all the way inside of him. He was so full and stretched he couldn't get comfortable, but Jyuushiro's soothing presence and the hand on his cock helped.

He shivered and twitched when Jyuushiro rocked his hips and slid even deeper inside of him. His legs clamped on either side of his captain's waist and he gave a strangled cry as the shifting made Jyuushiro brush against his prostate.

"Ah!!! Yes!"

Jyuushiro took that as his cue to move. He lifted Ichigo up and then snapped his hips upward while pushing Ichigo down at the same time. Ichigo cried out again and met his thrusts enthusiastically as they developed a rhythm. He dragged his fingers through Jyuushiro's long, white hair and brought their mouths together for a greedy kiss. Jyuushiro kissed him back languidly and held Ichigo close as their bodies moved together passionately.

"Jyuushiro!!!" Ichigo yelled when he couldn't take it any more and tightened around his captain as he came. Jyuushiro hissed in pleasure and clamped his hands down on Ichigo's hips while sinking deeply into his convulsing heat. Ichigo gasped and squirmed as the strange wetness filled him and buried his face into Jyuushiro's shoulders with a moan.

Jyuushiro stroked his back as Ichigo slowly came down from his pleasured high. Soon soft snoring filled the tea room and Jyuushiro smiled softly. He stood with Ichigo in his arms and Ichigo whined as Jyuushiro shifted inside of him. Jyuushiro kissed his soft orange hair and carried Ichigo to his rooms in the same position before setting him gently down onto his futon.

Only then did he pull out of Ichigo, making Ichigo whimper in discomfort and curl into his warmth. Jyuushiro slipped in the bed beside him and carefully cleaned the worse of the mess off of both of them while trying not to wake Ichigo up. Ichigo only stirred a little and then was to snuggle closer to Jyuushiro.

"Ah, I see you managed to snag your lieutenant," a voice said from the doorway and Jyuushiro looked up to raise an eyebrow at his friend, Shunsui.

"You'll wake him up," Jyuushiro admonished and draped his arm around Ichigo.

"That will be the least of your problems if Ichigo-kun finds out you convinced old man Yama to bluff on executing him," Shunsui murmured and sat on the edge of the futon to stroke Ichigo's bright orange hair, but Jyuushiro pushed his hand away.

"Ichigo will be happier here," Jyuushiro said and looked down at Ichigo fondly before kissing his smooth, unfurrowed brow. "You'll see."

"Hmm," Shunsui rubbed his goatee and gazed down at Ichigo. "Are you trying to convince me or you?"

Ichigo slept on, happy and comfortable in his captain's arms.

**LINE**

**Ichigo strikes me as the kind of guy who would be all soft and pliant when he gets a little buzzed =D I hope you like it .! And that ending twist came out of NOWHERE! I was like, whoa, wtf are you doing, ending? And the ending was like, 'listen bitch, I'm the ending, I don't do what you want, you do what I want.' At that point I just curled up in the corner and let the ending do as it pleased. **

**Please review!**


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